So it’s about 12:30 AM and you’re typing some stuff up on your computer. Suddenly, you note some movement somewhere above your head. You look up to see….
A GIANT FREAKING COCKROACH CRAWLING AROUND ON THE CEILING! (Ceiling Roach is watching you, amirite?)
Step 01. Scream like the little sissy you’re usually not.
Step 02. Escape from room.
Step 03. Do not take your eyes off the Demon Spawn.
Step 04. Call for backup. Note: Backup will probably think it’s a moth until they actually see the bugger. Then they will be sure to save their room by shutting their door.
Step 05. Have backup run for the Lemon Fresh Raid® while you keep an eye on the monster.
Step 06. Get creative since you have 12 foot ceilings as it would be hard to spray it from 6 feet away and lord knows you don’t want it dropping down on you. Dirty shirt from laundry will do.
Step 07. Get behind bug without it noticing.
Step 08. Hold EVERYTHING since backup is completely useless, hiding out there in the hallway and refusing to ready the Almighty Bug Killing Compound.
Step 09. Chuck dirty shirt at cockroach so you can get to it with spray can.
Step 10. Note: Your backup with likely scream when bug launches in her direction. Cautiously approach shirt and look for Satan Bug.
Step 11. Realize bug is unaccounted for.
Step 12. Cower in hallway looking out to see if you can spot it, for it must die.
Step 13. Attempt to save purse and jacket off of floor in fear that it might try to die inside one of those items. Shake it like woah and pray to your God it isn’t on them.
Step 14. Try to open door to throw purse in room.
Step 15. SEE THE FUCKING BUG RIGHT ON THE FUCKING DOOR!
Step 16. Hyperventilate. Note your backup retreating into her bathroom as the door shuts. Proceed to yell at her for only saving herself.
Step 17. Get up the courage to finally spray the shit out of the bastard on the door.
Step 18. Freak out as it charges at you, back into backup’s door by accident.
Step 19. Move aside and watch helplessly as it escapes through the crack in the door you just opened up.
Step 20. Man up and chase it, spraying it all the way.
Step 21. Watch it die. Muwahahahaha!
Step 22. Back up will have emerged at the fact that her room has now been invaded just to tell you to box it up.
Step 23. Tie box up even if the thing looks dead, it might not be, put it in the garage for posterity.
Step 24. Freak out every time you see something move from the corner of your eye or each time your hair randomly touches your neck, or each time you hear a strange noise.
Step 25. Don’t sleep for a few nights. =(
EDIT: OKAY GUYS! Share your bug stories with me! Who needs sleep anyway? =D